irixku

I really am running from all responsibility tonight.

It is quarter to ten, and I am completely BORED OUT OF MY FOOL GOD-DAMNED MIND.

So.

I actually DREW something the other day. Yeap. Ya read that one right. I haven't even LOOKED in dA's general direction in FORever, but I, for some reason, tripped and fell back here, and then I NEEDED to draw something, but in my INFINITE wisdom, I made it on "This is NEVER going to scan, EVER, foo'"-sized paper, so I'd have to take a jacked-up picture of it. I would. But no camera. Bah. And I'm thinking about drawing more now, and might end up taking some art classes in college for the hell of it, and for fun. I mean, why not. Three horrendously intensive classes, a "oh, PUH-LEASE, are you serious about this class, ha ha ha," and art. Makes sense, right? I want to have fun here.

And I have Dr. Pepper. He's a DOCTOR, bitches.

Yeah. I think I've had too much.

But that's okay.

And this thing isn't going to live up to the hot mess that was the last entry [and OHMAIFREAKINGGOD if that DAMNED door slams one more godFREAKINGdamn time, I may hafta smack a bitch] because I just don't feel it, and they're about to do the runway on the finale [and the FUCK are you doing with the door-slamming, assholio down by the schoolyard?!].

I'm going to go. I may go have to murder talk to some people.

Seriously. I don't write these things for anyone to read. haha But FEEL FREE should you feel some inane meaning to. I just noticed that the last entry was posted before I graduated HIGH SCHOOL. I almost wrote "college." Haha, I WISH. I still have three and a half years to go.

I watched Fringe today. This has absolutely no train of thought, nor purpose, and that's totally okay. So, Fringe, Leonard Nimoy. I love that man, oh so much. But that's also okay, because I said that it is.

I started writing, a lot. It's not here. Nor will it be. dA's not worth the effort it would take me to format 38,000+ words. No. Never. Sorry. I'd give a link, but that takes too much effort too. Seriously. College has made me more lazy than ever. In a way. Or maybe I just don't care. That's probably it.

I'm listening to the same song. Again. And I want to see that new movie "Avatar." I keep seeing the commercials and it's driving me crazy that I still have a week to go. But next week is finals. I'm not looking forward to that. No, not really. But that's okay, because I really don't have the choice.

I took excedrin, and I just remembered that it has caffeine in it and now I'm probably not going to be able to sleep, and that's probably why I have absolutely no sensible or logical train of thought. I didn't know you have to take TWO of those pills. I'll probably be nutters tonight. Haha, I already have trouble sleeping. I have to get up tomorrow morning at eight. Hooray for me.

Did I mention that Leonard Nimoy was on Fringe this week? Hold on. I'm going to scroll up and check. Oh, I did. Okay, well, I'm not going to erase it. Because that's what I just thought about. Pssh, I think about him a lot. I'm neurotic. Have I mentioned that? Well, now I'm neurotic and on excedrin. So, I'm double your dose of special today. Well, I watched Fringe, and now Jersey Shore is on. Hella dumb show, seriously. But Fringe was amazing. I love the touching father/son moments between Walter and Peter, and Leonard, a.k.a. William Bell being hella awesome isn't a bad addition. He is such an interesting character outside of my irrational absolute love for Leonard.

And now that I'm talking about love, haha!, I'm just going to be even more special and ramble about Zoe Saldana. I mentioned Avatar up there above, I know I did, because I want to see that movie so bad, and my friend wants me to see it with her in IMAX. In 3D. I'm probably going to need a LOT of excedrin that day. Even though I love the movie, I'd probably get one badass migraine. That's how nature loves me. And I love Zoe. I have a HUGE lesbian crush on her. Seriously. I don't know why. She's gorgeous, and her eyes are pretty and her voice and I love the movies she's been in.

So, I think I could probably rant along about nothing in particular for a while now. I'm starting to wonder if there's a word limit on this thing. I wonder if I'd reach it if there was. I remember maxing out someone's voicemail, like, legitimately using up all the minutes. I called her number and just TALKED to the machine for two hours until it told me there was no more space on the tape and hung up on me. What's sad is that I've done that a few times. It's fun. It shows that I can talk a lot. About nothing. For a REALLY long time. Seriously.

I was going to talk about something before I digressed. But I can't remember what it was, so I guess I'll just talk about something else. Maybe it'll come to me. Maybe it won't. I guess if it wasn't important, I forgot it for a reason.

My migraine is going away, but the censor noise on this damn show is bringing it back like this annoying little animal clawing at my head. It's sort of annoying. I'm listening to that song I mentioned above. Again. Leave it to Lady Gaga to write a song about nothing and make it so damn catchy that you can't stop thinking about it.

I REMEMBERED WHAT I FORGOT. That's a weird sentence. Sort of paradoxical. I guess. Perhaps. Fascinating. I make a lot of typos... spelling mistakes. I think that's what I should have said. But as I was saying. I'm going home tomorrow. Saturday my family is going to New York. I love New York. But I'm not going. No. I'm going home to watch the DOG, while my parents and my sister go. I think I have an evil laugh. I've been told that a lot. That was a major digression. I'm typing as I'm thinking, so now you can see how erratic my thought pattern is.

You're just lucky you're not getting the number bit. That's a trip. I count stairs EVERY TIME. There are 42 stairs I have to take to get to my floor. Twelve steps to get from the stairwell to my door.

Rule: Do not put charcoal in a gas grill and try to light it.
Rule: If you have an I.Q. equal to your age, you shouldn't be allowed NEAR a grill.
Amendment to the Previous Rule: Said behavior is acceptable if the party in question is in application for a Darwin Award. In that case, have a ball. Remove yourself from the gene pool and raise the average I.Q.

I.Q.

Some people think I'm a genius. Maybe. I don't have a huge ego. It's unattractive. And it makes life boring. Seriously. Genius would probably explain a lot of why I work the way I do. I'll settle for exceptionally smart.

Rule: Don't hit a girl in a club.
Rule: If you REALLY feel the need, because you are an idiot, DON'T DO IT IN FRONT A COP.
Congratulations. You're officially the biggest DUMBASS.

You can thank Jersey Shore for the above comment. Some people, really.

But I think I could live without our popular culture. I've had enough of Twilight and the sparkly vampires and the werewolves and the teams, and stupidly inane reality shows that revolved around the dumbest people on the planet and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SAY "SITUATION" ONE MORE TIME. Expand your vocabulary. I've never hear one person use one word so many times. In my life. Seriously.

Ridiculous. And I can't believe how highly this guy thinks of himself. He needs to drop down by a few thousand pegs. Congratulations New Jersey for producing some of the dumbest people ever. Now hide your face in shame.

My icon on MSN is Leonard Nimoy. I'm a little obsessed, but it's so funny and I love it. It's a screen cap from the new Star Trek movie, and it's captioned "I'm Too Old For This Shit." Amazing. He is amazing. Love.

Well. This is becoming insanely long. Avatar commercial was just on again.

I keep mentioning it, though I can promise this is not product placement. If it was, I would be happy. Very happy. You know how much I would get paid if this was product placement? No? Neither do I, but I'm sure it would be enough to buy a house. What would I do with a house? I don't know, probably live in it. Although, I'm at college, and that is sort of illogical. That was an absolutely stupid thought. Really. But I won't erase it. I don't care. I can have my stupid moments. I really can. Shut your mouth. I can.

Haha. I just threatened nothing. I really need something else to do. I'm so beyond embarrassment. Really. I thought about being unnerved by the things I have in my gallery, but what the Hell does it matter to me if people judge me? Whatever. Judge me. That should be fun. I judge people. Sometimes. It sort of revolves around anime. I hate that stuff [I just censored myself, sans the noise] with a passion. I really can't stand it. Really. Sorry.

This is really long and will probably take quite a bit of scrolling to get to the bottom. I just think a lot. All the time. Really. But seriously, if it bothered me to post, I wouldn't have posted it. And I'm me, and I'm neurotic and I've been writing this entry from a long time because I have nothing better to do and I really don't care if people hate me or spite me or want to smite me because I have a rather, for the lack of a better word, racy drawing involving something less than het.; FREE LOVE FREE WORLD. War is overrated and ridiculous. When there's no point.

But I'm not going to go all political activist, anti-war garbage up here, because that's just as stupid as walking into a crowded room and shouting "HEY LET'S TALK ABOUT RELIGION AND WHY YOU'RE ALL WRONG" or something like that. Stupid. There will always be an argument and that one guy that just fights with you because he just feels the need to take out his illogical aggressions and get his jollies out of making you fume. I don't get angry quickly. It's irrational.

All this staring at a computer screen is making my eyes hurt and the idiocy on the T.V. is having an all out total war with the excedrin. Who will win? Who knows. There are far more idiots in this world, and on T.V., that they probably will win.

I really could stay here and keep talking. But I won't. I'm done.

Have a nice night. Or, if you prefer: Live long and prosper.

Yes, counting, the days left of this ridiculous school year. I cannot wait until I am out of this Hell-hole (forgive my language; there is no better name), so that I will be able to begin schooling that will actually benefit me in the long run. I am sick of all the time I waste trapped in that damned building when I could be doing something productive.

I am pretty much the youngest of all my friends, and I'm a little behind, not that it truly matters, I'm just innocently jealous that they don't have to go to the same place I will be tomorrow. Love you guys!

On any other note, -as I have written in my day planner- starting tomorrow, I have 38 days (actual school days, no weekends) to go, not really looking forward to attending any one of those days.

On, yet another, note, I have really begun to write poetry again (and I realized that I have a TON I need to write into my book) as well as my new flourish of photomanipulations, which have increased merely because I really don't like to do work anymore. Come on, guys! 38 more days! Stop teaching! Let's just watch Finding Nemo or something! But we won't, so I just have to keep swimming.

Cheers to me hopefully not going insane in 38 days. 乾杯!

Sitting, alone in my room,
I listened to a song I had only heard once before,
marred by image on screen,
words falling away.

The player turned on,
I choose the song I was just given,
eager to listen to the song,
to really hear it,
after everything I've heard.

I leaned back,
propped on pillows,
and closed my eyes.
And earthquake erupted in my chest,
and I was seething, like waves.

And tears fell like rain.

Heart wrenched by words I never cared to really listen to,
singing I never found the meaning in,
a poem set to music sad enough to break my heart.

"Walk on over," the words echo in my mind,
tears staining a notebook.
The song isn't long enough to forget the words,
they are too powerful,
the voice too strong,
the emotion too invested.

I let the song repeat,
unable to listen and unable to stop,
the crying continues,
and my cheeks are stiffened by dried tears
until fresh water flows along dried riverbeds,
and a new tremour rocks my soul.

(This poem is part of my collection, do NOT copy.)